The Fact
Commitment dread among men is not rare. It had been there for centuries. Men were noted for their reluctance to recede their prerogatives. And a permanent relationship, much like a monogamous marriage, would constantly - at the least in their cognition - cut them off from that free rein of being a free adventurer in life.
Men are, normally, very sovereign. They enjoy to do and settle things for themselves, and by themselves. Being married, for instance, would put him in a condition where he lose his freedom to do whatsoever he likes the way he inclines to. There is even an old story concerning it: "It is said that the bride wears white coiffe because white represents tranquility and joy. If that's accurate, then why does the groom unceasingly wrapped in black?"
But, supposing afraid of commitment among men had been there for ages, it had never been a capital complication until today. Today, more and more men are found to have to an uneasiness to pledged relationship to some degree, even to the extent of phobia. Yes, more and more adult men have commitmentphobia today! What are the origin of it? And how can we deal with it?
The Origin
In today's reality, the causes of fear of committed relationships in men are no longer as naive as in a few decades ago. Though it's nonetheless admittedly right that the most important reason for afraid of committed relationships among men is their hesitancy to waive independence, now the advancements that women have made also play a grave part.
Myriads women now are financially much more self-reliant. And more and more assignments, that were traditionally administered by men now have been given to women.
For ages, men usually have the position as provider for his househ old. That portrayal had granted them sentiency of calmness. They knew that their pedigree (mate and kids) needed them. The perception of being needed helped him feel useful.
The contemporary developments, plus the advancements in newscasting engineering that give ability to everyone of us to hear every talk and manners among celebrities with all their shocking stories, have degraded innumerable men's assurance and thoughts of surety. The info around how many women now can disappoint their men easily and leave them for richer guys, as well as their own bad experiences with women in their lives make the idea of being sworn for a whole-life relationship to single one female is very scary!
And it's not just that. The nonchalance trend now to acquire sex anytime they require also contributes greatly to their reluctance to enter a monogamous relationship. There are more and more women now who won't even think twice to do one night stand with a man they have just met. And also that "friend with benefit" lifestyle that is so hot today makes so many more men consider that a pledged relation is unnecessary.
Then What?
I imagine there's no such thing as a decided resolution for this. If you are already in a interrelationship with a men with afraid of commitment, then there are only two choices: either to end the relationship and guard yourself from more upcoming disconcert and brokenheartedness, or to assist him to surmount his afraid of commitment . The second option of course will never be easy. It may weaken you mentally and emotionally. But the selection is yours to make. The key is, perseverance and self control.
Uprightly, I will not recommend to keep your alliance with him unless you know for sure, with all you heart and deepest feeling, that he is "the one" for you, your soul mate. But, even if he is, I should tell you: your endeavor to win him will be hard. You may have to stop seeing him for a few weeks or even months (after having a heart-to-heart talk around what you want from him in the alliance) to give him time and space to work out his problems. If he really loves you, then he will find himself at a point where he conceives that the thing he worries the most is losing you, not committing to you.
And for you who have not been in interrelation, there are many signs of commitment-phobic men that you can use to identify whether a love interest is a sufferer of fearful of commitment or not. Preventing is without exception easier than curing. So, if you understand that a guy friend suffers a fear of committed relationships , do yourself a favor: run! Unless... of course, you know deep within your heart that he is "the one" for you.
