For example, you call him but you can't reach him. Instead of thinking that his cellphone battery might be out of power, you may think that he intentionally turned it off because he is with another woman. Or, instead of thinking that he might be trapped in a traffic jam when he came home late, you may think that he spent the hours with his young female colleague in pub.
Indeed, it is not for nothing people call for jealousy as a green-eyed monster. Unless you control and deal with it in the right way, it can be detrimental to your life.
Uncontrolled jealousy can make you behave in very disturbing ways. It can make you very interrogative to your partner when it has overwhelmed you.
It also can make you act like an amateur spy agent whose always on a mission to pry on wallets and pockets: your partner's wallet & pocket :) It can even shape you into an awkward stalker (if you know what I mean). And worse than that, it can turn you into a banana republic dictator - that is very controlling to your partner - if you don't deal with your jealousy in the right way.
And strong emotion brought by jealousy can also make you feel that you have every right to do all that even though there is no slightest piece of evidence you have that can support your suspicion. This is another reason why controlling jealousy is crucial before it turns itself into that big green-eyed monster that is too difficult to conquer.
Before it is too late, know this: if you behave like that, instead of ensuring your partner's company, you will make him become more distant to you. If things go on and on that way, he may consider leaving you if he feels that it is the only thing he can do to free himself from your control and to regain his independence.
Now be honest to yourself. Do you often feel suspicious or jealous to your partner even though there is nothing that can back it up? If yes, then you should stop for a while and do some self-reflection. Controlling jealousy needs you to first acknowledge your own problems.
You feel jealous because you are afraid of losing your partner's feeling and attention to you. Because you are afraid of losing him.That's the real reason behind your controlling behavior: fear. By controlling, subconsciously you think you will be able to make sure that he will never leave you.
But facts show that, it is exactly the controlling behavior that usually be the cause of the infidelity later. The more you try to control your partner, the more he will distant himself from you. That's what people usually do when they are dealing with an overly controlling person. If he reacts that way, you can't blame him.
If you continue doing that, it will be like a vicious cycle: the more you try to control him, the more he hides things from you, and so on. If you don't try to break this vicious cycle by dealing with your jealousy, you'll end up finding that your relationship has deteriorated to the extent beyond repairable.
Realize this: your over-jealousy will never do anything good for your relationship. The root of jealousy is always fear. And the cause of that kind of fear is usually low self-esteem and bad self-image.
So, don't take it lightly. Overcome your jealousy now before it can do too much damage to your valuable relationship. But first, deal with your low self-esteem and bad self-image. After that, controlling jealousy will no longer be a problem for you.
